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Which Way To Look, This New Year's

By Russell A. Irving

Well, another year is passing by.

Some of you will be 'looking backward' instead of forward.

What do I mean? Simply that you tend to live your life looking in the rearview mirror. Any and all regrets are not only still occupying your present thoughts, but they overwhelm your mind and heart so that nothing else can be seen. When that happens, you not only miss out on great moments with your spouse and perhaps your children... You miss out on wonderful feelings and chances for new paths in life.

Your marriage will also suffer from this 'hindsight' point of view.

All spouses screw up somewhere along the way. Whether 'for real' or simply in your own judgment is immaterial. Why? Because you will make your spouse 'pay' for what they did.

No! I am not saying that you should ignore abuse, neglect, adultery, addictions... But, I am saying that for the routine ways in which your wife upset, pissed-off, puzzled, or not lived up to your expectations from them or your marriage, move on. (As long as you hashed out the situation. If you didn't, then what are you waiting for!)

For example... Your spouse made a foolish purchase, but they are normally wise with money. - They did not get the promotion that you hoped for. - You weren't thrilled with your anniversary present. - You had a few rough months that have  since passed. - You felt unappreciated for a while, but that feeling also passed. - There were harsh words spoken, but they were later followed up with an apology.

Then, there are some of you who know that you were not the partner in life that you should have been. -  You were neglectful. - You strayed emotionally or physically. - You were moody and took out your frustrations on your wife. - You were not affectionate. - You deprived them (and yourself) of the pleasures of sexual intimacy. - You spent most or all of your free time on Facebook, playing WOW, or working.

Bottomline, this is a time for reflection, but also for revving up your engine and going forward. Don't forget to ask your spouse to come along for the ride... I mean, 'adventure'!

'Nuff said!