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When Should You 'Call It Quits'?

When is it time to end a romantic relationship that should no longer exist?
Wow! That's a loaded question. - Many factors can come to play here. But, I'll take a stab at some common scenarios and how they should probably end.

#1 You've gained a shadow. -- By that I mean the other person is so clingy that it seems as if everywhere you go, they need to tag along. And while a shadow in the shower might be kindof fun, it can quickly become old and stifling.

#2 They have no friends or family whom they spend time with, assuming that they even have them in their life. -- Sort of like #1 above. You don't really want to be 'their everything'.

#3 Boxing gloves become a common fashion statement when the 2 of you are together. -- You constantly argue. Whether or not you start it or they do. Or, you take turns. It doesn't matter. Life is too short.

#4 There is abuse. -- Sort of like #3, except that any 'blows' are in fact physical ones.

#5 You play seconds fiddle to an addict. -- Many moons ago, I briefly dated a woman who had much going for her, except that she wouldn't do much of anything without a drink or bottle of booze in her hand. That included any 'making out' time.

#6 No magnetic attraction. - They're nice and all that, but as for any physical chemistry, it's just not 'there'. No one's fault, but sometimes there's no real passion.

#7 They remind you of a lost love. -- Despite Adele's song lyric where she sings that she will find 'someone like you', this doesn't work out in real life. It's one thing to know that this person has qualities that you find attractive and positive, but quite another thing when you are attempting to re-create 'the lost love of your life'.

#8 People who know you best warn you that this is not the person with whom you should spend the rest of your life. -- I remember when friends and family told me to 'move on' when dating certain women. But, once they met my wife-to-be, they instantly knew that she was 'The One'.

#9 Nothing in common. -- For all of the importance that passion and friendship brings, if you do not share common belief systems, then the odds are not good for a fulfilling, longterm relationship.

#10 You find your eyes and perhaps your hands wandering. -- It's normal to be in love and still occasionally glance a bit too long at someone else. Yet, it's not okay for you to fool around with someone else if you are supposed to be in a monogamous, committed relationship. (Is that being redundant?) Fantasizing about someone else might be okay, but acting upon it... Not!

When you've invested time and energy in a relationship, breaking it off can be a very difficult decision. Yet, hanging on, when you know in your heart of hearts that it isn't right for you, will only lead to heartache of a more serious type for both of you.
So, be strong. Do the right thing!

'Nuff said.

copyright - Russell Irving