Men Express Themselves
Where men can share their points of view and more.
Where women can learn about men.



Thoughts On Men (& Women) 'Behaving Badly'
By Russell A. Irving

Prove that they are not in this alone!
What am I speaking of? The #MeToo movement, in general. (More on that, later.)

We, as men, need to walk the walk. We need to call out the men who act like pigs and worse. Everyone needs and deserves respect. A 'No' to our advances should be taken as a 'No'. We should never get so drunk or high or angry that we do what we should never do.
If we want respect and more out of life, we need to prove that we are deserving of it.

But that said, we also must not accept blanket condemnation of all men. We must also call out the women who when jilted wanted revenge. We must call out the women who wish to take advantage of us sexually when we are not in the mood or when we do not find the woman attractive. (Yes, we are not always in 'the mood'.) And, regardless of how many more men might be behaving badly than women, there is no pass to be given to those of either gender.

I believe that the majority of claims of abuse by men are undoubtedly true. Yet, there are also those men who are falsely accused. And, we, as fathers, and brothers, and friends must support these men. We need to garner the trust and the support of the women in our lives, so that when their love and power is needed, that they will be there for those of us who are in need of it.

When Matt Damon initially said that there is a continuum of bad behavior, he was correct. Not everything is a crime. Not everything that is one, is equal. Unfortunately, he allowed himself to retract much of that statement. Why? Who knows for certain.

In my much younger days, I remember the party when I and a young woman (20's) were the only 2 who were not a couple. And every couple seemed to be making out. So, she hit on me, rather forcefully Unfortunately, I had no special feelings for her. While it would have been easy to satisfy myself sexually, I knew that there was so much wrong with giving in, that I held firm. We talked for quite a while. Whether or not she had strong feelings of rejection the next day or simply a hangover mixed with an 'It was too bad that it never happened' feeling, I will never know. But, I neither then, or now wish that I had pressed charges or sought to embarrass her.

Then, there was the job where my supervisor warned me that his boss (and ultimately mine, as well) expected sexual favors if a man was to advance in the venture. That she was into S&M, to some extent. Fortunately, I left before I had to deal with it. But, I could understand better what many women have had and still have to deal with.

There were times in my single days when I misread a woman's level of romantic interest in me. Happily, I never forced myself on anyone. So that my ego was deflated, feelings hurt, but the woman knew that I respected her decision.

So, why do I share these personal situations with you? Simply to illustrate that as humans, signals can become misread. But that how we respond to them is perhaps what matters most of all. That we have choices, and they often include not having to use the 'nuclear option'. Yet, there are times when people should be called out for abuse of power and we have to decide what to do, even if we later have regrets over our choice.

Bottom-line: Every situation is different. Respect others. Expect the same in return. Think carefully as to what our choices are and the ramifications of them. Try to help 'the pendulum' find a zone close to the midpoint.

'Nuff said.