Men Express Themselves
The 'Other' Infidelity
By Russell Irving
We hopefully realize that infidelity is an incredible breaking of the marital vows and can destroy not only your marriage, but greatly impact any children whom you have. And, then there are the other victims, the collateral damage.
There is the Work-Spouse. You've seen them, even if they were not your own. -- The guy or gal to whom you have a verbally intimate friendship. You often begin by working on a project together. Or next to one another on the assembly line or in adjoining cubicles. You discover that you have similar views on the workplace. Then, as you begin to feel more comfortable with them, you share news of what happened on the weekend. Then, the night before.
Conversations can evolve into feeling comfortable in that very common task of criticizing your wife or husband. Not really bashing. At least not at first.
"But that's normal, isn't it? And, healthy? Shouldn't we have friends at work? And, what's wrong with having a friendship involving a co-worker of the opposite sex, if it's totally platonic?"
"Okay. Now, what about one of the other types of non-sexual affairs that you said would be discussed?"
First, there is Facebook, MySpace and similar social media. Far too many of us decide to check out how an old girlfriend or boyfriend is doing. Perhaps, even a platonic friend of the opposite sex from high school or college days. So we find them. Get to be a friend of theirs. And, so the emotional affair can begin. -- Actually, many divorce lawyers state that much of their business is a result of this behavior. (See the related articles here.)
Bottom-line is that we can do as much damage with an emotional affair, as with a physically sexual one.
If you are involved in one of these situations, then you need to work on your marriage. Whether that involves counseling, therapy, sessions with your clergy, or even working on the advice offered in a book such as IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE - DON'T OVERLOOK THE OBVIOUS, please do something. Before it becomes too late.