Men Express Themselves
Where men can share their points of view and more.
Where women can learn about men.






Sometimes, We Misread Others

By Russell A. Irving

Who doesn't like to believe that they can read another person's body language? Come on! Raise your hand high!Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but even I have misread others' body language, more times than I care to count.

I remember, decades ago, when I was at a Singles' function, where I saw several, stereotypically stunning women leaning against a bar, some with a drink in hand. I made the assumption that they were being aloof, waiting for a stereotypical Prince Charming to stroll over and wisk them away in his BMW.
When I approached them and explained that I was the publisher of a tasteful singles' magazine and conducted singles-related workshops, they explained that they did not realize how some men might have misread their body cues. They were actually receptive to being approached by 'any', 'decent' man. But they knew that their looks intimidated the average person. They hoped for someone to see past their looks, have some self-confidence, and be willing to risk a possible rejection, by coming up to them and beginning a conversation.

Over the years, I have seen time and time again where a woman or man misinterprets another's body language or why someone is staring at them.
There was the woman who was dressed in a super-tight short-short, with a halter top which barely contained her bosom. She glowered at every man whose gaze came her way. Certainly some men were simply 'enjoying the view', if you will. Others like myself, after an initial moment of 'visual gratification', was simply taken by the fact that she appeared to be so annoyed and surprised by the reaction of the men at the checkout lines.

Then there was the woman who was certainly overweight by 'whomever's standard'. She did not realize that the man who turned his head away upon seeing her come in his direction, enjoyed seeing a curvy, well-rounded woman and was embarassed for whatever weird reason he had to feel that way.

I have been at meetings where I misread a person's constant twirling of hair or tapping of a pen to mean that they wished to be elsewhere or were extremely nervous regarding the topic at hand. Yet, afterwards I learned that they were at their best and sharpest when they indulged in these longterm habits.

Some people wear what appears to be a frown, not for typical reasons, but simply because that's their facial expression, 'at rest'.

And, let's not forget about the end of that great first date, You are at her door and she tilts her head slightly after explaining what a wonderful evening she had with you. Do you go in for the kiss? Or, go for her cheek? Or...

So, what is my point here? Is it simply to pojnt out that you don't and likely will never be able to accurately read someone's body language?
No. Not quite. - I simply want you to be aware that occasionally our gut reactions and interpretations are incorrect. - No more and no less. - Although, perhaps I really want you to sometimes go against your initial reactions and take a chance that you might otherwise not. Or, to give someone a break. Or, simply to know that life is always full of mysteries and surprises waiting for us to 'go after them'. (Just use some amount of caution and common sense.)

'Nuff said!

Copyright Russell Irving 2013