Men Express Themselves
Secrets beget doubts,
Which of these statements is true regarding you and your spouse?
If you are like many (most?) spouses, your first instinct is to say that #s 1 and 2 best describe you. But, if you dig a little deeper into your 'honesty pail', my hunch is that many (most?) of you will also end up saying that the other 3 choices apply, at times. And, that nothing is wrong with that fact.
We all tend to want to keep some facets of our past and present life a secret from our loved one.
But what if the secret is that you had taken a longer lunch than you should have, and the boss found out. And, suspended you. Do you tell your partner the truth, or do you say that there is a temporary layoff situation. A furlough day, if you will.
What if you are busy planning a surprise party. And, there are numerous calls and text messages coming through. And, your spouse wants to know who is calling. And, you pretend aboutwho is on the other end of the phone. Think that your wife/ husband will become suspicious? Or wonder whether or not there might be an affair going on?
Perhaps you went to the doctor's office, had a test done, and cancer is suspected? Should you tell your husband/ wife? Or, wait until there is a definitive result from the biopsy? And, if they know 'something' is wrong with you and you deny it, don't you believe that they will suspect 'the worse'?
You might be cold sexually. Or, not wish for them to be the sexual initiator. All, because of a past sexual abuse. If you do not tell your wife/ husband, then their imagination will understandably wander. They could believe that you do not desire them. Or, that you do not desire sex, as opposed to having fears or concerns involving it. Or...
Now, I am not saying that you should tell your loved one absolutely everything that goes on, especially, in real time. There are circumstances where discretion and timing are important.
Only you can determine what should be known to your spouse and when. I simply advise you to be very careful in your decisions. Because if and when your partner decides that you were simply being deceitful, it becomes extremely difficult for the trust to be rebuilt and for life to revert to your previous level of normalcy.