Men Express Themselves
Where men can share their points of view and more.
Where women can learn about men.





Playing 'Hide & Seek'

Do you and your spouse play 'Hide & Seek'?
No! Not as part of  sexual foreplay.

Allow me to re-phrase this question.
Do you or your spouse hide from the other, to avoid spending time, together? To pretend that there are no important matters to discuss? To make believe that there are no important matters to discuss? To pretend that your daughter is not pregnant or that your son is not doing drugs? Or... ?

Let's look at some of the many ways in which we avoid our spouse, when not on the job or once housework is done and the kids are in bed. (Okay! I do know that housework is truly never done, but can't we pretend that it is? Just this once?)

#1 Making the perfect yard look even better! Especially since your spouse has severe outdoor allergies so that they won't follow you out there.

#2 Actually volunteering to take out the trash. As well as that of everyone up and down the street.

#3 Taking work home. "My boss needs these reports for the morning."

#4 Remaining at your child's ballet, gymnastics, or butterfly collecting class, instead of dropping them off and going home.

#5 Facebook, Twitter, or forums. "I simply cannot ignore my Friends' messages. Certainly you can understand that."

#6 Volunteering for anything that you can, which will keep you out of the house, until bedtime.

#7 Always spending time at the neighbors' homes.

#8 Being given your own parking space at the local tavern.

#9 Always having company over.

#10 Moving to some online gaming community, at least in your mind.

#11 Working in the garage.

#12 Falling asleep on the couch whenever a heavy discussion is beginning. "But, darling! I couldn't help it. I was exhausted from all of the housework that I did, today.

#13 Hitting the market. "I'm certain that I forgot to buy milk, bread, or knishes."

#14 "Can't this matter wait until another time? This is the big play-off game."

We all know that I could go on and on and on with avoidance techniques.

The obvious problem, however, is that without both of you spending time communicating, or simply 'hanging out together', the rift will simply widen, eventually becoming a chasm far too wide for you to bridge.
Problems truly do not disappear in the real world. So deal with them, now!

Learn the arts of communicating, (polite) disagreeing, and the the art of compromise.
Re-connect. Work at finding common interests, once again.
Set aside time for those heavy discussions.
Be more affectionate. - It's very difficult to wish to avoid someone whom you are physically & sexually intimate with.

Remember why you married one another! Acknowledge that each one of you has changed, over time. Re-kindle connections with the 'new you'!

'Nuff said.

Copyright Russell Irving 2012