Men Express Themselves
Where men can share their points of view and more.
Where women can learn about men.





Name Calling Should Empower You??

Russell Irving

I know! - There are times when I know that more than a few of you are likely to be angry or upset over what I am about to say. And, those are the times that I feel most confident about why I must say those things. This is one of those times...

So she called you a 'Loser'. Big deal. You know that you aren't. But why does it hurt so much when she called you that name? Does a part of you think that it might be true?

Calling a person hurtful names is certainly not a typical way to endear someone to you. Often, it's said during an argument. Or in retaliation to something that you said or did to hurt them.
Other times, however, there might be a grain of truth to what they say. A better way might have been to say that you 'behave like a Loser'. - Notice the difference? Don't worry if you do not. Many folks think that they mean the same thing.
However, calling you a 'Loser' essentially says that this person believes that deep down inside of you resides a pretty hopeless individual. One who the majority of the time behaves like a person who either has no ambition, or direction, or sense of caring about others' welfare. 'Losers' might change but often they don't get to be a zebra with only white stripes, if you catch my drift.
But, saying that you are 'behaving like a Loser' is an entirely different matter! - The person is saying that at this very moment your actions are those of a nasty or lazy or narcissistic or immoral individual. Half-hidden in that name-calling is the hope and belief that you could change your ways.

Often, we don't stand back as if we were looking at ourselves from across a room. We don't ask whether or not we would wish to date or spend our lives with the 'you' that you observe. It can be painful. We can have self-doubts. We can come up with a gazillion reasons why we are the way that we are. But we need to make a very serious and hard decision: Do we want to have the life that a 'Loser' lives? Or, is having a wonderful relationship and a steady, 'at least okay' job, and friends worth the risks involved in changing your ways?

Bottom-line: If someone whom you have feelings and respect for chooses their words carefully enough to say that you are 'acting like a Loser', then pay attention! Grow up. Make the choice to be the person that you know exists somewhere deep inside of you!
'Cause whether or not this person will ever become your life's partner, isn't as important as the fact that at this very moment, they care enough for you to wish your 'wonderful self', the best in life.

'Nuff said.

I invite any of you who wish to do so, to send me your experiences in this area. If any of them are published here, we will not use the names that you give us. Send them to:

Copyright Russell Irving 2015