Men Express Themselves
RELATIONSHIP: Managing Step Children
By: NAVAL LANGA
The presence of Step children should not be a problem in a family of level-headed persons. However such problems crop-up in certain families. Let us see this problem by taking an example.
Gerald, 37, an art class instructor, has two step sons. He is married since two years and his wife, a level-headed woman of 45, has no problem with any one in the family. But Gerald, the step father of two step sons, feels and keeps thinking that his own daughter of thirteen is not getting her share of a good family life. But he does not speak his mind.
One cannot expect his or her partner to be a mind reader. Without speaking about the real issues or needs, misconception would persist endlessly. If there is element of fear asking for own needs, the same is baseless. It is undesirable too if one wants to live happily in a family. It would also be wide of the mark to mask one's real requirement and not to talk straight about the same.
Here the solution lies in following the Golden Rule: honesty always pays. Be honest. Do spell out your desires before your spouse or partner. It would clear your mind and help finding a permanent solution. It would make your spouse or partner more attached with you, as such discussions help understanding how you value your relationship.
For talking together, for being open to each other, go to a good restaurant or plan your weekend on a hilltop. You can avoid involving children in the discussion if their behaviour is not a direct issue. Otherwise the children also can assist arriving on an honest solution; and it would be better not to underestimate the abilities of children in helping to keep family in tact.
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