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Are you like a puppet on strings allowing your false beliefs
to run your life?

Author: Jeff Bultitude

Sadly I see people who are held back by their own fears of the future, of change and personal growth. It seems to me that as a general rule people would rather keep doing what they are doing than take a risk and make a change even if they are uncomfortable and hate doing what they are doing now. I know from personal experience how hard it was sometimes to make the break though when I look back every time I did it was more than worth the effort. My life just kept getting better.

Even better still, armed with this knowledge you can make decisions on changes quicker and more effectively, casting aside the doubts that can result in you sabotaging your own future.

So what causes people to resist change? Mostly fear. Fear of success as much as fear of failure. People will offer a variety of excuses for not making a decision or moving forward, these include:

  • I am a perfectionist and I will not move until everything is perfect. (I am scared of failure or ridicule).
  • I can't because they won't allow it to be (The Blame Thrower).
  • I am not ready yet.
  • The timing is wrong.
  • They told me it was a bad idea (Blame Thrower variant).
  • I can't afford it.
  • People aren't ready for it yet.
  • I will decide tomorrow (tomorrow never comes syndrome).
  • I don't know if it's right for me (If I succeed people may not like me anymore Tall Poppy Fear).
  • Fred tried and he failed (Excuses syndrome).
  • I changed my mind.
  • There is a huge risk.
  • What happens if it doesn't work?
  • I am not good enough to do that (self-sabotage).

The list goes on; people just keep coming up with excuses the reality of which in most cases does not reflect what is really happening. Take the Blame Thrower and all its variants once the blame has been shifted then they can rest easy. Now the really interesting part is that people once they tell themselves this over and over they actually believe it's not their fault. They have in fact performed an act of self-hypnosis on themselves and planted this false belief firmly in place quiet successfully.

In my mind I see the person like a puppet suspended on a bunch of strings with a hidden hand directing their every move. The hand moves in response to the false beliefs and fears that control their view of reality. I say their view because we all have our own view of reality of map of the world. The view or map is only a representation of the truth and as discussed above we can program ourselves to see a false picture.

So this is where the coach comes in. Imagine the coach as a set of hands with not just a pair of scissors to cut the strings, as if you did that the puppet would just fall, but a gym instructor and personal motivator who shows the puppet how to use their muscles again, one by one. The muscles are the persons understanding that by using positive constructive beliefs they can move independently of the strings. They can disengage the strings themselves and move in the direction they choose.

So you as the individual must recognise that you are being held back and know deep down the need or desire to move forward exists and that you may need help before the process can begin. A false belief is that seeking help is a weakness, totally untrue. Not seeking help when you need it is the real weakness, because you allow yourself to succumb to your false fears.

Trained coaches have the ability to "read between the lines" dispel the myths and seek the truth. Once the true reasons are identified, they are then, one by one, addressed, and either dismissed as being inconsequential (limiting beliefs) or dealt with in a logical and methodical way so that the issues are addressed and negated.

So if you find yourself "making excuses" and not doing what you really feel you should be doing, start questioning your excuses, explore what is really true and if you can't sort it yourself, try a series of coaching sessions. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Remember, "It always seems impossible until it's done." Nelson Mandela

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About the Author
I am passionate about helping people achieve what they desire and most importantly deal with Life's Changes, those we choose, those we expect and those thrust upon us including the stress and uncertainty they present. Life Coaching is a path to solving these issues.
Jeff Bultitude
Professional Life Coach & NLP Coach Practitioner