Men Express Themselves
Bound To Happen
By Russell Irving
It's bound to happen! I know it. You know it. They know it!
The time when you scratch your head and your heart. Why? Well, because you had a fight. The sex stopped being 'amazing'. You spent an evening with nothing to say to one another. You couldn't agree on how to spend Saturday. Money became an issue. It dawned on you that their friends are boring. Or, they tell you that your friends are annoying. You feel stifled. After meeting their parents, you just knew that there would be in-law problems, unless you lived a 1,000 miles away; which was unlikely. Their voice, now, irritates you. Their laugh is like that of a hyena. They pass gas, way too often. They want your undivided attention without bothering to listen to your day. Visions of restaurant menus dance in your head, because they are simply an awful cook. You want a traditional, 1950's-style marriage. They want an open marriage. There is no agreement regarding how many children to have. Or, whether or not you should even have children. They hate your kids from another relationship. With holidays approaching, differences in religious beliefs now matter. You discover that they are either too frugal (cheap) or are shopaholics (addicted to credit cards). One of you tosses and turns at night while the other snores. You're a night owl and they are early birds. Weight wasn't an issue before, but now it is. If they twirl their hair or crack their knuckles one more time, you will scream! Your dream vacation is camping and fishing while theirs is a luxury hotel in Manhattan with unlimited shopping and a Broadway show. Their height didn't matter until you went dancing or happened to catch the stares of others. Their lack of a career direction bodes of tough financial times ahead. “How much in debt are you?” is a question that you wished that you never asked. You thought that they were simply playing 'hard to get', but you now know that they hate being touched and believe that sex is only for procreation. They agree to compromise as long as that means that they get their way, all the way. They eat like a cow. You wish that they would shut up, once in a while. They wish that you communicated more often. Homes, kitchens, and yards do not need to be immaculate. Why do beds need to be made, you wonder. They expect you to be macho when they desire that and to be sensitive when it suits their purpose. You want a lady in the daytime and a sexpot at night. The idea of household money going towards alimony or child support is not a turn-on. You question their faith in you, when they continue to read your emails and check your cellphone for possible sexting messages. What once seemed to be their 'strong sense of self' turns out to be a bit controlling. Crying as a means to get their way should have ended with high school, if not before. You wonder why they spend so much time out with 'the guys' and not with you. Or, Facebook gets more 'face time' than you do. Balancing a checkbook means making certain that there are still checks left to write. The cellphone has become a new appendage of theirs, day and night, even during lovemaking. Speaking of which, frequency has plummeted as dramatically as stocks did on 'Black Friday'. It always seems to 'Miller Time'. Saying, “I bet you... “, is more than a phrase and more than what they do at the casino. Time passes real slowwwly when with them. You wish that once in a while they would disagree with you. They actually tell you that what you enjoy doing is fine for now, but once you get married, you will either need to 'grow up', become more 'responsible', or learn to accept 'their ways'. Every time that you disagree with them, they point a finger and say, “There's the door. You're free to leave anytime that you want to.” You decide that your cat is more important than their allergies. Somehow you never figured that sharing a bed with them meant that their St. Bernard would be joining you. You love their children more than them. It dawns on you that you asked the 'wrong sister' out. Their best friend hits on you and they don't believe you. Politics, religion, and parenting styles are all taboo topics. You fight the urge to tell them how to dress. They say that nudity outside of the bedroom and shower is inappropriate. Your favorite tee shirt is unacceptable to wear around the house unless you're planning on doing house or yard work. They argue about everything. Whatever you decide to do is 'stupid'. You realize that they lack 'common sense'. Why didn't you listen to your friends when they warned you to break up, ages ago? They love 'pity parties'. No one else's needs seem to matter. You find yourself constantly flirting with others, even when in the company of your date.
Didn't think that the list could continue for so long, did you? Would you be surprised if I told you that I could go on for quite a while longer?
Here's the bottom-line on all of this. You need to decide whether or not any of the above is a 'deal breaker' for you. But, before calling it quits, try having a candid talk with them. Remember that 'candid' does not equal being brutally blunt. Or, wimpy.
Reality is both of the following. - There will never be a 'perfect' mate. One with whom there will not be any of the above. Great relationships do ebb and flow. This is not simply a cliche. - Then again, if one of these is truly going to cause immense grief, dissatisfaction, or... Be honest with yourself and with them.
Copyright Russell Irving 2012