Men Express Themselves
By Russell A. Irving
They say that couples instinctively know what each other wants, sexually. That it's part of the whole 'chemistry' thing.
Well, as you might well know, firsthand, 'they' got it wrong. Again.
Far too many women and men find themselves either bored out of their minds or simply sexually frustrated due to a lack of their partner's 'style' and actions.
Part of the problem comes from the fact that some women want a 'take charge' guy. One who will ravage them, as if they had jumped off the pages of one of those romance novels. While others want a very soft and tender approach. They want to be wined and dined and brought to their own ecstasy by way of much foreplay. Still others want to be the sexual aggressor. At least for some of the time.
Then we have the man's desires. He might thoroughly enjoy being the 'swashbuckling hero', but believes that his 'dainty' bride would be turned off by this approach. Or he relishes the thought of a woman who makes the 1st move. Or, he wants to role play. Perhaps, even to speak sexually during...
Fact is, many spouses, regardless of their gender, would enjoy a variety of techniques. Too many couples complain of boredom in the bedroom and list it as one of the reasons for not wanting to be intimate this way.
Then, we have the actual places we enjoy being caressed, touched, kissed, and... Along with a desire for quiet, sexual banter, or music in the background. – Point is, that we have specific likes and dislikes. Fantasies to remain that way, as well as fantasies that we might wish to experience, firsthand.
So, what is wrong with asking for what you want, sexually? Nothing, really. And, a lot is wrong if you do not express your desires.
Yes, there is always the risk that your spouse will turn you down. But, more often than not, they will be pleased to know what turns you on and brings you to a climax. Not only for your satisfaction, but for theirs as well.
Now, before you run off to express yourself, keep this in mind. You need to be willing to accommodate at least some of their own passions.
And, before someone writes me a nasty email, I am not suggesting that either wife or husband participate in something sexual that disgusts them or would result in harm. – That said, we really do not know whether or not we would enjoy most new experiences until we try them. So, be open, while remaining cautious and maintaining your values.
Bottom line is that you need to take charge of your marital bliss, in the bedroom. Do it assertively, with tact... Perhaps simply show them what you truly want done to you or to do to them, by 'doing'. You and they deserve all of the terrific physical and emotional closeness that comes with a satisfying, even great, sex life!
Copyright Russell Irving 2012