Men Express Themselves
She complains that you don't understand
And, most importantly, arguing gains
you what? Certainly not peace and quiet, more sex,
physical intimacy, less pressure, esteem in your child's eyes...
The odds are that the 2 of you fell into this hole, where arguing is how you feel most comfortable relating. Sort of a masochistic/ sadistic dance.
Well, if you want better for you, the children, your partner, then one of you needs to leave the dance floor. Learn some new steps, and give it time for your spouse or girlfriend to decide whether or not to join you.
So many times it's the obvious that provides the solution to life's problems. – So to avoid arguments, simply do not start one and if one is in progress, then do not join in. It's really that simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple.
So, don't fall for the bait if it is
thrown out there.
Now, this assumes that you are correct in your position. If not, no one likes someone who tries to bully or otherwise get out of responsibility. In this instance, give a great and sincere apology. You will be amazed at how well this is accepted.
Bear in mind that your children do soak up styles of relating, largely from their parents.
And, by the way... I truly don't care
whether or not this is how your folks related. Or that your dad was a
'milk-toast'. What matters is how you behave and behavior can change.
– You don't argue with a policeman or your boss. (Not unless you
want to pay the price of so doing.)
Now, for the 'real' payoffs.
And, wouldn't you rather have a relationship where you all have more 'up times' and less high blood pressure?
copyright - R. Irving