Neither one of you
Should be the one
To always apologize.
Sir Elton John sang and co-wrote a very popular song, in the '70s, called 'Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word'.
That sentiment still rings true, today. Most folks will probably admit that apologizing is extremely difficult. Sometimes it results in one feeling embarassed. Other times, we wish to avoid owning up to what others already know: That we screwed up! Or, we think that by not apologizing we will save face with the offended, although the opposite is quite true.
Fact is that just as 'honesty' is usually the best policy, apologizing, even to one's spouse, is best. But, only when you have something to apologize for.
Now, this can get a bit 'tricky'. There are certainly times when you realize that you did, in fact, offend or hurt your husband or wife. But, there are instances where you truly do not understand why you need to say that you regret what you did. In your heart-of-hearts, you believe that you did nothing wrong. However, the reality is that we can offend or hurt someone by doing something that would not bother another person in the least! Yet, your spouse's history has made them sensitive to your actions.
For example, if they grew up in a household with much yelling among the parents, they might take you yelling at them as a sign that your marriage is heading down the same path. Or, you forgot to call and inform them that you would be home late, so that they should not wait up for you. And, their former spouse had done the same, when they were out having an affair.
So, apologizing is important to do. Yet, there are some folks who are 'serial apologists'. They say, 'Sorry.' , over everything. They forgot to clean their dinner dish for once. 'Sorry'. You are out at a restaurant and the waitress explains that your spouse cannot have the veal because they just ran out of it minutes, ago. 'Sorry'. You plan a picnic and it rains. And, you say, 'Sorry.'
Fact is that you should not apologize for matters which are not in your control. You can say, 'I feel badly that the restaurant ran out of veal. Would you like to go somehwere else, tonight?' But, that is a far cry from apologizing for what is not in your control!
Then, there are the instances where you both did something wrong. And, you both owe the other one an apology. Yet, you always seem to be the one, especially after an argument, who says the 'S' word, first. In these instances, you should not always be the one to make amends before your partner. - But, you say that if you don't, the silent treatment or arguing simply continues for days? Well, let your wife or husband know that you sometimes need to hear the 'S' word, first. Otherwise, you feel as though you are always the main one at fault. And that you both know that isn't the case.
This becomes easier, if each of you owns up to your behavior, during those times when only you were wrong. - So often, I have heard folks say that their spouse simply isn't the 'apologizing type'. What a crock! That is only true because no one has probably held them accountable for their actions. Or, made them actually utter the words, 'I am so sorry. Please forgive me.'
Until or unless you break them of that cop-out, then you will probably hold in resentment toward them, allow yourself to be a doormat, or both. - Remind them that adults take responsibility for their actions. Children do not. That you thought you married an adult.
At first, you will probably get some pushback from them. But, eventually, they should get your point, and they will act responsibly. If not, then your marriage has some deeper issues than this one.
No one is perfect. Apologies are certainly a part of life, for healthy relationships. But, that does not mean you should always 'go first'.