Men Express Themselves
By Russell A. Irving
Back when conducting various workshops & classes geared toward making the most of Single Life, I taught one designed to help folks write great Personal Ads.
#1 Where you plan to advertise (yes, you are advertising) is vital. If you advertise in the local weekly alongside the ads from escorts, gigolos, and those putting their sexual desires right out there, then that is the type of person who will likely respond to you. Of course you might argue that if you were reading this paper and saw a non-sexual ad, it would stand out. Sounds great in theory, but my feedback says otherwise.
#2 Neither mince words nor ramble on. Too few words will not do you justice. And, too many words will turn off, bore, or otherwise cause readers to move on to the next ad.
#3 Avoid the cliches! So, no 'love long walks on the beach', 'enjoy evenings reading poetry', 'romantic, candlelight dinners'.
#4 Don't misrepresent yourself. If you are short, obese, or lack conversational skills, don't say that you are a long-legged beauty, built like a model, and a great conversationalist. 'Cause when they lay eyes on you or hear you speak and there is an obvious disparity, they will likely turn around and disappear in a crowd.
#5 Don't misrepresent yourself Part 2. Don't inflate your status or accomplishments. So, if you are not an astronaut or professional singer, don't state or even imply that you are.
#6 Use adjectives and accurately, descriptive words when you can. So rather than say you are an accountant. Say that you are a tax accountant. Or, a head chef, rather than a cook.
#7 If you are divorced or have children, do not hide that fact. Because you will either waste the time of those who do not wish to date folks in that situation. (Their right.) Or, you might not get the attention of someone who is also divorced or would love to have an 'instant family'. And, if you are simply separated from your spouse, be upfront about that, as well.
#8 Be creative. If you have a good sense of humor, than try to let it show. But use discretion.
#9 If you have specific 'musts', then express those, as well. So that if you will only date a Catholic, Jew, Muslim, or Buddhist, put it out there! If you will only date 'professionals' or 'college educated' or 'country dwellers', say that!
#10 If you can afford to do it, submit multiple personals. With each one somewhat different than the others.
Finally, when you get a response that you believe is worth pursuing, talk with them on the phone 1st. Notice that I did not say to simply email or write back and forth. Then, if you both agree to meet, do so at a public place, preferably while it is still light out. Remember that there are some 'sick' folks out there. (And, this applies to both men and women!)
Hopefully, you will find your 'perfect mate', or at least make some good friends, have some enjoyable times and memories.
Send me your thoughts on this topic. Write me at admin@MenExpressThemselves.com - Your name will not be published if we decide to post your comments. I hope that we hear from you.